“What’s the point of having f— you money if you never say f— you?” – Bobby Axelrod (Damien Lewis) in the Showtime series “Billions”

F— you money is a common expression on Wall Street. You work hard to earn that obscene paycheck so f—you, I’m going to spend hard, too. Bobby Axelrod’s No. 2 at Axe Capital, “Wags” is famous for one-liners about indulgence like “Yo, b—es! Saddle up. Body shots and sushi at the strip joint, on me.”

Real-life hedgies like Wags know f—you money is offensive and they don’t care. Spend it if you got it.

“Why not?” a portfolio manager responded when asked why he spends so extravagantly. “It’s simple math, I make a lot so I spend a lot. If the AmEx bill comes in under $20k, I wonder what I did wrong that month.”

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Getting a job on Wall Street was the first of like ten boxes I thought I needed to check in order to be happy. The last box — the finish line — was to make a “stick,” which means earn one million dollars in a year.

A decade into my career I was sitting on the couch, alone, in my 2,700 square-foot Tribeca apartment. It was just after Christmas and I had received a $2 million bonus. I was thinking to myself, I got the girl, the home, the social status, the job title and tons of power. But if I can just make three million dollars next year … then I’ll be happy.

I sought happiness like a crack addict in search of his next rock. I constantly craved for my next hit of happiness.

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Wall Street wasn’t initially sold on a President Trump — typically markets hate uncertainty and he seems to bring it by the metric ton. But, it’s been a solid first-quarter performance for the market since Trump was elected, with all three major indexes — the Dow, S&P 500 and Nasdaq — hitting new highs in recent weeks as traders cheered Trump’s pro-business agenda.

“I’ve made a million dollars since the election,” a managing director at a bulge-bracket firm said. “Our stock is up every day.”

And, when traders are making money … they’re also spending it. There’s a direct correlation between finance professionals’ day-to-day business and their discretionary spending. Luxury or high-end items, such as automobiles and entertainment usually get a boost when Wall Street is feeling good.

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Wall Streeters typically aren’t the protest type. When they feel strongly about something, they don’t protest it — they trade it. So, while you saw the tech industry explode with outrage over President Donald Trump’s immigration ban, you haven’t heard much beyond measured statements from big Wall Street firms and you don’t see a lot of finance guys marching on Washington.
“Off the record, Trump went too far too fast. It seemed barbaric,” a sales trader at a bulge bracket firm said. “But our firm and the industry as a whole are much better served by standing on the sidelines on this one.”

The immigration ban (or “pause,” as Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly likes to call it) prevents people from seven different countries — Iraq, Iran, Libya, Somalia, Sudan, Syria, and Yemen — from entering into the United States. That goes up to 120 days for refugees. However, for Syrian refugees, the ban is indefinite.

The ban hit two-hot button issues for Wall Street.

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At the opening bell of 2016, the markets looked like an overmatched boxer entering the ring. Taking crushing blows to the head on the first day of trading, stocks got pummeled, creating a nosebleed for the first month. In June, Britain shocked the world with its vote to leave the EU — creating global losses of about $2 trillion in one day. But the markets started punching back.

In a year dominated by political headlines, it was also filled with highlights, lowlights and surprises like the Pokemon Go phenomenon, the delightful end to the Chicago Cubs World Series curse, a widespread Zika virus debate and the continued cyber security threats with a billion Yahoo accounts being hacked.

It was a decent year for M&A activity. The Bayer and Monsanto deal for $66 billion created a combined company that controls one-fourth of the global supply of seeds and pesticides. And the biggest deal of the year, which received negative commentary from every political candidate, was the AT&T and Time Warner deal, worth $85.4 billion.

And no year is complete with a major scandal.

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It’s that time of year again on Wall Street … bonus season!

Even though it was a good year for the stock market, it’s not all champagne wishes and caviar dreams. Last year the average bonus in the industry fell by 9 percent to $146,200 according to the New York State Comptroller’s Office and, after speaking with heads of trading desks, managing directors, hedge-fund-partners and others, it looks like bonuses could be down about 10 percent this year.

There are several reasons cited for this year’s lower expectations, including uncertainty in the stock market and less trading activity by clients (i.e., lower fees and commissions). And, while 2015 was a record year for merger and acquisition deals — 2016 was the year for billion-dollar broken deals like Allergan and Pfizer, United Technologies and Honeywell, Canadian Pacific and Norfolk Southern, and Halliburton and Baker Hughes.

All of that means less money in … and less money in the bonus pool.

One word you hear thrown around a lot on trading floors is “stick.” In Street speak, that means a million dollars.

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