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Shoe Porn

The first year I pulled in nearly half a million dollars, I did what every hedge-fund trader who’s trying to climb the buy-side ladder would do: I hired two personal shoppers at Barneys.

I walked into Barneys wearing baggy shorts, a T-shirt and flip-flops. The salesman saw me wandering aimlessly and asked if I needed help. I told him I worked at a hedge fund and needed some new suits. Immediately, I was whisked to a private dressing room where I was cross-examined by two fashionistas.

Twenty-two grand later, I walked out of there with my arms full off shopping bags like Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman.” I got everything I needed — and then some. I had tried to tell them I didn’t need any new shoes, but resistance was futile. I bought SEVERAL pair.

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