I’m so grateful for all the people who’ve helped me along in my journey. Not to be overly dramatic, but I should be dead. I used to do lines of cocaine that were so long I needed to shuffle my feet just to finish them. I loved cocaine-like Leonardo loved Rose in Titanic. Drinking was my side piece. I couldn’t stop. And I didn’t want to stop because I genuinely believed that it was going to be different the next time. After a rough night, I’d surrender for a few hours or perhaps even a day. I might even swear off drinking and drugging forever. I’m NEVER doing that again! Ever! And then a day later, I’d convince myself that the next time—yes—the next time—it was going to be different. I could control it. I’d only do a certain amount, or I’d stop at a specific time, and everything would be fine, but it rarely ever was fine. And I collected this data for a long time. I kept believing my lie, and I kept on using. If you’re relapsing every other day—that’s just called using. It wasn’t until I started getting honest with myself that I could even attempt sobriety. I was full of shit. It was never going to be different the next time I used. Not only that, it was going to get worse. Early on, I was told the only requirement was a desire to stop using, but my only desire was to make my problems go away. It took me a while to realize that the two were synonymous. Today, I don’t have to be sober; I get to be sober. It’s a choice. And it took what it took, two rehabs, multiple outpatients, loss of jobs, money, house, family court, and loss of self-respect. But I got it all back. So, no matter where you are on your journey, I promise you it can be done, and there are good times ahead. For me, the only way it’ll be different the next time—is if there isn’t a next time. Again, thank you to everyone who’s supported and loved me. I did not do this alone.

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