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Wall Street Therapy…

ONE HOUR SESSION

With my history I’m no stranger to a therapist’s office. One thing I’ve learned, the more comfy the chair the more expensive the therapy. I never understood why anyone would want to see a shrink. Seemed like a waste of time. Unless, that is, you’re trying to prove to the rest of the world that you’re trying to get your life back. I figure it might be fun to play a little word association game. I’ll write down the name of a brokerage firm and then respond with the first word or words that come to mind…

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Goldman Sachs – ski masks
Morgan Stanley – suspenders
Bear Stearns – that little newspaper boy from the movie Better Off Dead
BTIG – G.F.E.
B of A – Jan Brady
Cowen – The Little Engine That Could
DBKS – offensive linemen
CSFB – Fight Club
JP Morgan – Alex P. Keaton
Leerink – Dr. Kevorkian
Barclays – crumpets
Lehman – MySpace
Piper Jaffary – purple velvet shoes
RBC – right fielder
Citigroup – George Foreman
UBS – Suicide Watch or the New York Jets
Bernstein – A Beautiful Mind
Cantor – Taco Bell
Canaccord – TJ MAX
FBR – a prostate exam
ISI – Stephen Hawking
Jefferies – Rothman’s Steakhouse bathroom
JMP – are they trying to trick everyone into thinking you’re giving an order to JP Morgan?
Jones – a professional fluffer
Lazard – fax machines and 8 tracks
Miller Tabak – Eyes Wide Shut
Macquarie – The Larva
Needham – Studio 54
Nite – serotonin
Pac Crest – Helen Keller
Raymond James – are they still in business?
Susquehanna – three-card Monte
Stern AG – Six Flags
Weeden – whale belts
Nomura – a haiku

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