“I don’t want to go to jail,” is a statement often heard on a trading desk. Sometimes it’s said jokingly, but other times it has more merit. The fear of doing hard time bounces from the conscious to the subconscious for an aggressive trader. It never goes away.

And who wants to go to prison? Not a Wall Street executive. I don’t think penny loafers and sweater vests go over very well down in the yard. And a front-row ticket to the Jay Z & Eminem concert last spring doesn’t buy you street cred on the inside. It’s a scary thought.

Even when you do things by the book; there’s always a level of fear on Wall Street.

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When I was growing up in the 1980s, I loved watching movies. Still do. My 9-year-old daughter likes it OK. But when we do cozy up on the couch, we usually pop some popcorn, search for candy in all my secret spots and top it all off with some soda. (You can tell I’m up for Father of the Year.) Then we turn off all of the lights and press play. Although we don’t talk much during the film, it’s a bonding moment. I usually get stuck rubbing her feet at some point. And rubbing tiny little toes counts as bonding. Sometimes I like to take a peek at her while she’s watching. I love seeing whatever particular emotion is beaming from her face.

In the first 9 years of my daughter’s life, I usually didn’t get to pick the title. My recommendations weren’t considered—but that’s been changing slightly over the last six months, ever since I let her watch Pitch Perfect on cable. That’s when she started taking my endorsements a bit more seriously because, though I may have rushed the age appropriateness for that film, she loved it. And we are sooooooooooooo going to see Pitch Perfect 2 together when it comes out in theaters this May. We’ll just keep it as our little secret.

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As parents we try to teach our children tolerance. We want them to grow up to be respectful and kind to others. It makes sense. And one of the best ways to do that is to “show,” not “tell,” our children how to act. But now that I’m in my 40s—45½ on April 3, to be exact—it’s becoming increasingly difficult to be easygoing about certain things. Here are 8 things we 40-somethings shouldn’t have to put up with anymore.

Wasting My Time
No, I don’t want to watch your wedding video. Do you remember seven years ago when I bought a plane ticket to fly across the country, paid for three nights in a hotel and got you a gift? Yeah? Well, I do. And I promise if I want to relive that night I will ask to watch your wedding video.

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It’s girls’ night out, or maybe mom is working late. Whatever the case may be, the kids know that tonight will be a little different: Daddy is on duty. The thought conjures up images of a father pacing back and forth in the kitchen, flour spread out all over the floor—oh, and the children’s faces too. A frozen pizza is burning in the oven, and the dog has just peed on little Tommy’s jacket. And that’s when the smoke from the burning oven sets off the fire alarm.

Perhaps a bit cliché, but sometimes it’s not that far off. And moms don’t need to know that.

“Maybe we should keep this our little secret,” a dad will say to his kids. “Let’s not tell mom about this.”

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“You can only leave Morgan Stanley once.”

That’s what my former boss said when I told her I was leaving the bank in 1999. I wonder if CFO Ruth Porat heard the same thing when she announced she was heading to Google?

Would she even care?

That kind of Wall Street scare tactic used to send a ripple of fear through anyone thinking of leaving the high-pressure, high-paying job. But recently, we’ve seen more and more finance people chasing their entrepreneurial spirit — and you never hear about them going back.

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