I’m so honored and grateful… February 6, 2013 turneythe buy-side-book blog No Comments Right before we went to the printers I received one more blurb for the book. “This is why I keep my money safe and sound under the mattress. You could get high just reading this book. Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be Wall Street traders.” –James Patterson, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Along Came a Spider and Kiss the Girls And I’m so thankful for all of the other people who blurbed for me before. I’m very excited for June 4th… “Turney Duff is a natural storyteller, and his tale of how a naive kid from Maine traded in L.L. Bean for Armani and got sucked into the seamy side of Wall Street is almost impossible to put down. The book is by turns hilarious, harrowing, maddening, and illuminating. After this debut, the smart money will be on Duff.” –Bethany McLean, New York Times bestselling author of The Smartest Guys in the Room and All the Devils Are Here “Turney Duff’s The Buy Side picks up where the Academy Award-winning film about systemic corruption on Wall Street, ‘Inside Job,’ leaves off. Duff, who at one time was the promising rookie on the trading desk at troubled hedge fund Galleon, gives us a front-row seat to the Street’s dark side – but the tale also features a personal story that will have you cheeringas Duff fights his way through a jungle of excess and figures out what really matters. To all those who want to rule the market not just during business hours but after hours, beware — you may not have Duff’s survival skills.” –Lawrence G. McDonald, New York Times bestselling author of A Colossal Failure of Common Sense “The Buy Side takes the reader on an extremely wild ride so eloquently and honestly that we never want it to end. Cocaine wants everything you love and everything that loves you. Turney Duff had everything and nothing while trading billions of dollars on a razor’s edge. His book takes you from Wall Street to Skid Row to the Thompson Hotel – and then, mercifully, back to sanity and finding a place in the world. Hang on, The Buy Side is gonna move you around, and there are no seatbelts to keep you from getting hit hard.” –Brian O’Dea, author of High: Confessions of an International Drug Smuggler “The Buy Side is ‘Wall Street’ meets ‘Breaking Bad’ – except that this book is fact not fiction. Turney Duff yields to temptation at every turn, and the sheer volume of criminal behavior he saw, and even participated in, is astonishing…If you want to see Wall Street’s seamy underbelly firsthand, read this book.” –Frank Partnoy, bestselling author of F.I.A.S.C.O and Infectious Greed “If you took Gordon Gekko, Bud Fox, a copy of Bright Lights, Big City, and threw them in a blender with an ounce of cocaine, a bottle of Patron Tequila, and your favorite teddy bear you’d have yourself a Buy Side smoothie. Turney’s my kind of guy; a madman with heart. I couldn’t put the book down.” –Colin Broderick, author of Orangutan “Does Wall Street make people crazy or are crazy people simply attracted to Wall Street? The Buy Side doesn’t get us any closer to answering that question, but along the way we get a look inside perhaps the most ethically-challenged investment firm in recent memory, and a harrowing journey through drug addiction and recovery. This is not a musical comedy; at the end, you’re just relieved that Duff is alive.” –Jared Dillian, author of Street Freak: Money and Madness at Lehman Brothers “Turney Duff’s The Buy Side is the perfect parable for Wall Street’s lost decade. Duff’s account of his rise and fall has it all, from a fast-paced coke-crazed trip through Manhattan nightlife that conjures Bright Lights, Big City, to an eyewitness account of insider trading and front running that reads like a federal indictment. Broke but not broken, Duff ends up better than others on Wall Street have–sober, chastened, and lucky to be alive after the self-destructive excesses of easy money and empty ambition.” -Guy Lawson, New York Times bestselling author of Octopus
First Taste of the Apple… January 16, 2013 turneythe buy-side-book blog No Comments Over the past year, every time my phone dings with an email, I wonder, Is it about the book? Is it my agent? Is it my editor? What if it’s from my publisher? About a years ago I heard that same ding and I quickly checked. It was an email from my editor. Perhaps you’ve heard this… A novelist is a failed short story writer… A short story writer is a failed poet… The reason my editor wrote those lines was because we were having a minor tug of war over the length of the book. I didn’t think I could tell my story in under 400 pages and he was thinking 250 might be plenty. He was more right than I was: shorter is better It’s interesting looking back, because now I have six or seven chapters that no one has ever seen, not even my agent. But I think creating them was a necessary part of my process. They just didn’t fit in into the book’s arc. In losing those chapters I also lost some irony. For instance, the first chapter I wrote that’s not in the book was about the summer of 1976 when I came to New York City for the first time. I was a towheaded 6-year-old from Cleveland with a doting mom and a strict father and three older sisters. The trip was an all-expenses-paid weekend for a safety poster contest that I’d won. In a bid to win it all, I’d drawn a picture of a kid standing on a bike and pasted a picture of Fonzi on it with the caption: “The Fonz Says Sit On It.” What struck me as I worked on that ultimately-to-be-discarded chapter was how my first experience in NYC as a kid was much like how I was treated on any given night as a buy side trader. Working on the buy side was like when the lifeguard blows the whistle at 4 p.m. every afternoon and yells “free swim.” There were times when I was responsible for distributing $40 million in commissions. So that meant I had throngs of sell side guys courting me. We’ve all heard stories of extravagant Wall Street entertaining: the private jets, the floor seats at the Garden and the exclusive golf courses. But that’s only where it started for me. One broker offered to pay my monthly car garage expense; another wanted to establish an open tab for me at Mexican Radio, one of my favorite restaurants. But for shear determination, nothing beats the time a broker helped me remove a toilet from my Bleecker Street apartment. Never underestimate a sales trader on a 40% payout. He came over after work and helped me carry a ten year old toilet about three blocks over to the Bowery and then we ran as fast as we could to get away from the evidence. For the record – that’s worth about 500,000 shares the next trading session. These days I carry my own toilets, it builds character. Here’s an excerpt from the first chapter (not in the book) I wrote… My father leads our way to the baggage claim. I proudly wear my plastic wings compliments of the crew. My mother holds my hand, but excuses herself to smoke a cigarette when we get to our destination. Flocks of people perch and wait. The grand echoes from the baggage carrousel cue everyone’s attention. I want to get on and ride it. During the flight I had two cups of Orange Crush. My lips and teeth are carroty in color and my body circulates with caffeine. “Don’t move,” my father says as he tries to locate our luggage, and as he does my mom returns. A short time later, we’re soaking up “swank Manhattan” – shades of things to come: The Plaza Hotel operates like Santa’s workshop, organized chaos. White gloves and black and maroon outfits everywhere. The limo door opens. A uniformed man smiles and welcomes us. He instructs us to proceed to the front desk. A black man, wearing all white is opening up the trunk. I wonder why he’s stealing our luggage. No one seems to care; I keep my eye on him as we enter the front of the building. I’ll cut it off here. Other highlights to that chapter that is not in the book involve a blue leisure suit with a silk shirt and huge collars, a specially made cheeseburger at Mamma Leone’s, (not on the menu) and front row seats at the Magic Show staring Doug Henning — just your typical weekend for a 6-year-old on the buy side. In addition to the trip, I also received a $500 savings bond for the safety poster contest. And ten years later I’d cash it in to buy a moped. Everyone from Kennebunk probably knows the moped story, but if you don’t, maybe I’ll share it later…
What it Really Means… December 19, 2012 turneythe buy-side-book blog No Comments When I first started on Wall Street in 1994, I knew less than nothing. It was embarrassing. But as the years went on I finally figured out what things REALLY MEAN… * “Sooooo, are we still on for tonight?” Really means – I still have stripper glitter stuck on my neck from last night and I’d prefer it if you would cancel. * “I gotta hop” Really means – Leave me alone I’m reading www.danzatap.com * “Would you like 4 Mets tickets this weekend?” Really means – You are my absolute last resort and these tickets landed in my lap when the back office guy’s sister didn’t want them. * “I treat your orders just like it’s my kid’s college money.” Really means – I’ve really botched this order up and pleasedon’t cut me off. * “Hey can you call me on the outside.” Really means – I have the most insane hooker story for you. * “I’m jammed up.” Really means – Go haunt a house and leave me alone. *“Hey can I call you at home tonight?” Really means – I have a job offer, but it’s dependent on you trading a million dollars in commissions with me next year. * “Is it allergy season?” Really means – I did a lot of cocaine last night so please stop staring at me every time I sniffle. * “I caught another seller.” Really means – My market maker might be the worst trader on the street, sorry about your forthcoming report. *“Does anyone have the NY Post?” Really means – I’m going to be in the bathroom for a really long time. Can you watch my orders? * “We aren’t allowed to open any new accounts, but try back in six months.” Really means – you should leave the firm you are working for – Immediately… * “Let’s do a breakfast.” Really means – I’m a recovering alcoholic, an active alcoholic or an aspiring alcoholic and I don’t want you to see me at night. * “We got 25k MSFT for sale.” Really means – I’m living proof that there should be more cuts on Wall Street. * “We should get Justin Bieber tickets and bring your kids.” Really means – I will do ANYTHING for an order; see how wide I can open my mouth… * “Bobby isn’t in yet, he’s in a meeting.” Really means – Were the f&ck is Bobby? * “Last night when I was looking at my charts I noticed a correlation between…” Really means – I wear black jeans on casual Fridays. * “According to the F-Test, the portfolio’s return are heteroscedastic. If we use a weighted-least squares approach, we should be able to model the portfolio’s future returns without the use of a stochastic random variable.” Really means – I browse the amputee section at my local porn shop on the weekends. * “I hate Wall Street.” Really means – I hate Wall Street, but love money.
A new blurb… December 18, 2012 turneythe buy-side-book blog No Comments Just wanted to share – I got another last minute blurb – very exciting – it’s from Bethany McLean, author of NYT best sellers The Smartest Guys in the Room and All the Devils are Here… “Turney Duff is a natural storyteller, and his tale of how a naive kid from Maine traded in L.L. Bean for Armani and got sucked into the seamy side of Wall Street is almost impossible to put down. The book is by turns hilarious, harrowing, maddening, and illuminating. After this debut, the smart money will be on Duff.” –Bethany McLean