{"id":727,"date":"2014-10-07T15:56:26","date_gmt":"2014-10-07T15:56:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.turneyduff2.dev\/?p=727"},"modified":"2014-10-07T15:56:26","modified_gmt":"2014-10-07T15:56:26","slug":"the-art-of-calling-in-sick","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/turneyduff.com\/index.php\/2014\/10\/07\/the-art-of-calling-in-sick\/","title":{"rendered":"The Art of Calling in Sick&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"droplet_p_c\" style=\"color: #1a1a1a;\" data-view=\"droplets\/p\">\n<div id=\"d-56bffc036a524d56453badeb26581fd6\" class=\"droplet droplet_p\" style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\n<p>The best excuse I ever heard for calling in sick went something like this: &#8220;I can&#8217;t come in today. The hooker I called last night fell off the kitchen counter and broke her arm this morning. I have to take her to the hospital.&#8221; I&#8217;m not sure how much of a demand there is for casted escorts, so I felt bad for the woman. But for the guy who made the call\u2014well, he gets big marks for creativity.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"droplet_p_c\" style=\"color: #1a1a1a;\" data-view=\"droplets\/p\">\n<div id=\"d-b070ea79980aa32aa34eb00c36143aaa\" class=\"droplet droplet_p\" style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\n<p>Let&#8217;s face it: Any boss who hasn&#8217;t heard the entire list of phony I&#8217;m-too-sick-to-work excuses isn&#8217;t much of a boss. In today&#8217;s marketplace, you need to be creative, with a healthy dose of plausible deniability. Those little coughs and sniffles you fake on the other end of the phone? They aren&#8217;t helping. Announcing you don&#8217;t feel very well on the Thursday afternoon of a holiday weekend? That&#8217;s as worn as saying, &#8220;My aunt died.&#8221; And if you&#8217;re a big drinker, using the old, &#8220;It must have been something I ate&#8221; excuse just won&#8217;t fly.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.cafe.com\/r\/8811f9da-40d5-447d-b478-b58cd9fb3fb7\/1\/the-art-of-calling-in-sick\">READ FULL ARTICLE HERE<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The best excuse I ever heard for calling in sick went something like this: &#8220;I can&#8217;t come in today. The hooker I called last night fell off the kitchen counter and broke her arm this morning. I have to take her to the hospital.&#8221; I&#8217;m not sure how much of a demand there is for &#8230; <a title=\"The Art of Calling in Sick&#8230;\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/turneyduff.com\/index.php\/2014\/10\/07\/the-art-of-calling-in-sick\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about The Art of Calling in Sick&#8230;\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":728,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-727","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/turneyduff.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/727","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/turneyduff.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/turneyduff.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/turneyduff.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/turneyduff.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=727"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/turneyduff.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/727\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/turneyduff.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/728"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/turneyduff.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=727"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/turneyduff.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=727"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/turneyduff.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=727"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}